So I have been hardcore and aggresively dieting for the past month... I lost 25 pounds total with cheating once right at 3 weeks (which I am still mad at myself for but it was peach days and I couldn't resist those warm cinnamon glazed almonds). But what I hate, is that I should be extatic! That is a lot of weight to lose in such a short time... but how do I feel? Depressed that I still would like to lose another 15-20 pounds. I mean I am WAY closer to my goal, but it just makes me sick how far out of control I let my body go and that after losing so much, I am still only 2/3's of the way there, instead of being at my goal. This probably makes no sense to anybody reading but it has been driving me crazy and I had to write it down to hopefully help it get out of my system! And as I am beating myself up and depressed looking in the mirror and at pictures, Mike sits on the couch eating two hamburgers! And I'm like REALLY? You only weigh MAYBE 10 or 15 pounds more than you did in High School, and I have no idea where you have put it because you can still wear ALL the same clothes!? It drives me nuts. I have always had a complex about my weight even when I was pretty thin... which I would die to be that small now, and I should be going to my husband to make me feel better. But let's face it he sucks with words, he has since i met him and I knew that about him when I married him.
Guess that's my little vent, onto another day...
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Um, pretty sure that EVERY girl who has ever had to watch her weight knows exactly how you feel. You know what, it's ok to have those days. We all have those days. What is important is that you keep working on your goal and you keep getting up the next morning with the realization that you are a woman. You are irrational, and like the sunscreen song says, you are not as fat as you think you are! You are beautiful. And you are amazing. You are one of my tender mercies from the Lord in my life! I love you!
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